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    Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. But you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what A young man goes into the Job Center in Jacksonville, Florida , and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. Medical Truths -:- The patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses' station. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. He said, I heard the nurse say, Its a very simple operation, dont worry, Im sure it will be alright. There's an annual salary of ,000, but you're going to have to go to Oxford, Mississippi. Relax, says the Doctor, take a deep breath and calm down. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. 5 If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you - you've contracted Mongolian VD. We know very little about it." The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc." The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice" The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. Make a mental note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Place cat in cupboard and close door on cat's neck so as to leave only the head protruding. Fetch screwdriver from garage to put the cupboard door back on hinges. Apply whisky compress to cheek to disinfect, and toss back another shot for good measure. -:- When you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.

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