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    When we can’t say “No,” we become a sponge for the feelings of everyone around us and we eventually become saturated by the needs of everyone else while our own hearts wilt and die, we begin to live our lives according to the forceful should of others, rather than the whispered, passionate want of our own hearts, we let everyone else tell us what story to live and we cease to be the author of our own lives, we lose our voice—we lose the desire planted in our souls and the very unique way in which we might live out that desire in the world, we get used by the world instead of being useful in the world, we give in to the pressure of a friend and we drink and drive and we endanger lives, we cave in to a persuasive boyfriend and we end up pregnant, we get taken in by a sales pitch and we bury ourselves in oppressive debt, we get abused by a boss and end up with long hours at work and a short fuse at home, we cater to our kids’ every need and we begin to resent their demands and we fantasize about a deserted island in the Caribbean, we submit to unhealthy partners and they keep drinking or working or gambling or flirting and we end up in the backseat of our own lives. If our children can’t say “No” to us, they won’t say it to anyone. Do they need to learn to wisely choose moments of submission? But all of that learning begins with a “No.” Because the truth is, you can’t truly say “Yes” until you can say “No.” We need to know we have a choice in life. So, on an early autumn morning, I can come down on him, or I can bend down to him. A “No” that lays the foundation for an authentic “Yes.” Because, in the end, we can’t truly say “Yes” to our own voice and the language of love it is speaking, until we’ve been allowed to say “No” to the voices all around us.There is no end to the ways our lives are diminished by our inability to say “No.” And when a client of mine is being wrecked by porous boundaries, I will often ask this question: “How did your parents respond when you said ‘No’ as a child? When my son is offered a bunch of pills or my daughter is offered the backseat of a car, I want my kids to have had a lot of practice at saying “No.” Someday, there will be more at stake than a bunch of Lego action figures and, by then, I want them to know their worth isn’t jeopardized one iota when they don’t give themselves away to everyone around them. I want them to know are the author of their own story. The freedom to say “No” is the very beginning of our ability to say “Yes.” To ourselves. Which is why, more and more, I’m happy to say “Yes” to the word “No.” ——— Audio: Click here to listen to an audio version of this post.If you start offering help or support to him, a lot of guys will actually resent it.They won’t resent the gesture in it of itself, but they’ll resent the fact that they feel like they’re an object of pity … MORE: What to Do When He Says He Needs Space Instead, the best thing that you can do is admire and appreciate all of the good parts of him.A’s were the best, B’s were sometimes acceptable, C’s and D’s – never. My mom particularly disliked L and insisted on speaking to her parents before I went there. I could go on and on about all of the times that my parents embarrassed me in front of my friends by being super strict and overprotective, but I won’t, because the memories are painful.

    She is one of the lead attorneys for the biggest car company in India (based on statistics, Tata Motors), having planned an internship at a large Indian car company in 2005 when she was finishing her law degree.

    He offers to return home with her to India, but she isn't interested and can't take a white boy home to India.

    Priya completed her law studies LLB degree at Cambridge University (UK) graduating at the top of her class.

    My freshman year of high school was when my parents started getting super strict. I could deal with being forced to do well in school. But at some point, my parents decided that they didn’t approve of my friends. The worst moment of this checking up on me nonsense?

    At first, it was all about demanding good grades from me (which, fine, I can understand). One night, I was going to hang out with a friend we’ll call L and a bunch of other girls.

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