But much of this too is to avoid the complex array of losses and challenges divorce presents a man.
Many of these losses though, are a result men’s typical, if not default, role within marriage of being the financial provider.
I thought we were on the road to “happily ever after.” After several years, he just couldn’t commit to marriage. Some singles will not date a man or woman whose status is “separated.” While there isn’t a category of “separated, divorce pending” to select from, if you are not legally divorced, you are still married and may be unavailable. More often than not, a transition relationship will run its course. It is more common in cases of a difficult divorce than in an amicable divorce or the loss of a spouse.
The guy who broke my heart couldn’t imagine life without me. I know of many happily married couples that met shortly after one’s spouse had passed away.
I wouldn’t fear being exclusive with the right person.
I don’t have a wide network of people where I live, so I’m online.
What I’ve noticed is that no woman seems to want to touch me with a 10 foot pole because I’m ‘separated.’ My divorce is pending and will be finalized in September (it’s written better in the profile).
The irony is that men, despite their own dissatisfaction are more likely to resist divorce.
No matter how enlightened we are as a culture, it is still uncommon for men to be the primary caregivers, and women the financial provider.
Despite the security and sense of identity traditional marriages provide, they enable men to neglect the particular areas of personal growth that separation and divorce forced them to face.
We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…
I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.