Make sure it’s something you’re really ready to try before taking that step.
To me, the Dating a Widower movement, such as it is, looks like it's just based on following Google to high readership.Perhaps some of them were even a little nuts before they were widowed (we are changed by our losses... I also think that widowers with children still at home (most of the widowers I know fall in this category) are a bit more justified in hanging on to "stuff" from their past lives and sharing family (like in-laws) and memories a bit more actively.This is a giant set of exceptions that negates, for me, a lot of Abel's advice.Dating for the right reasons Take some time to understand why you want to date.If you’re dating because you think it’s going to somehow fill the void or heal the pain that comes from losing a spouse, it’s not going to happen.In 2006, after the death of her husband, Richard Carlson, Ph.D., author of the best-selling "Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff" books, Kristine Carlson felt a loss that sent her on a healing journey through grief.She found a companion, he was long-distance, and there was sex involved.She didn’t take it beyond that, but it was something she craved at the time.He says he started grieving his loss of her before she even died since she’d been bed-ridden for two years, and he knew he’d be saying goodbye.They discussed openly his finding someone new to spend his life with since they both knew he wasn’t very good at staying alone for very long. We live several states apart from each other, so for now our relationship is mostly on the phone and whenever he can come up for long weekends.as well as first hand experience as a member of the population in question. I'll admit that those who date widowed people is not a group I have chosen to speak to or for...Abel is far from the only author tackling this subject: in addition to his two books, Dating a Widower and Marrying a Widower, there is Julie Donner Anderson's Past: Perfect! and that knowing how few men under 55 are widowed compared to women (at one time Social Security told me it was 1 man to 7 women) makes me quite skeptical...Widowers are survivors, and as such, most come through the grief process much stronger, more resilient, and embrace life with more gusto.