Allow yourself to feel all the feelings – even the ugly ones that make you want to throw stuff against the wall.You need to process all the sh*tty emotional stuff or you’re going to carry all these negative feelings into your next relationship.With every breakup, there’s always this point when you’ve stopped crying and you start to think about dating again.Now here’s the thing: we live in a culture where we’re encouraged to pull up our bootstraps and ‘get back on the horse,’ so to speak – even when it comes to matters of the heart. There will be times when it’s important to communicate with an ex. Maybe you have to deal with a shared lease, or pet custody.
You may have been deeply wronged, but “getting even” won’t heal any wounds. Carry your head high and spend your energy on people who deserve it. What advice would you give others going through the process? Learn what you can from the relationship that just ended and move forward. Be thankful that the wrong relationship ended to free you up for the right one. If you have a tattoo-design epiphany in the days following heartache, wait a few months before acting on it. Hair grows back, but be warned: a bad bowl cut can hurt your already-bruised confidence. You broke up last week, but you still “have thoughts” you want to process with the ex. Give yourself two rules: Don’t post anything about the breakup drama online, no matter how vague, and resist the urge to stalk your ex. Besides, if your ex rejects you a second time, it won’t just hurt; the rejection will sting with extra humiliation and regret. One major change in your life can inspire even more change. Many people feel lost after a breakup; not because they miss their ex, but because so many of their daily habits once revolved around someone else. Social media can be dangerous when dealing with heartache. Instead of clinging to lost hope, find a wise friend who can help you walk through the reasons why you’re having a hard time letting go. Deep down, you know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone you had to beg to be with you.You can own up to the role you played in the breakup.If you’re still blaming your ex for everything that went wrong in your relationship, you’re not ready to date yet. However, if getting back your treasured, perfectly worn hoodie or epic snow-globe collection is crucial to your sense of well-being, you need to get that sh*t back as soon as possible and You’ve reached the point where you’re no longer constantly talking or thinking about your ex. It’s totally normal to think about your ex and want to talk about the break up after it happens.I thought that if I couldn't find a new relationship (and fast) after my breakup, something had to be wrong with me.Here's the problem with that: Dating so much left little time for me to do the three things I actually needed to do before jumping into a new relationship: heal, process, and grow.Literally is there anything better than kissing new people? The coffee shop where Adam tried to break up with you that one night no longer has to make you cry just from thinking about it, because you can take this new partner there and make beautiful, coffee-fueled memories with them.5.You're better at the little things that make a relationship go smoothly, like good communication and learning to make space.This reflective stage can feel painful and uncomfortable, but it’s a gift at its core.“The ends of relationships teach us so much about ourselves: our style of communication, whether that style is effective or not, how we handle insecurities, conflict, and co-existing as an individual and as part of a two-some simultaneously,” said another contributing psychologist, Sanam Hafeez, Psy. At the end of the day, whether you go to bed alone, next to a new person you swiped right on, or curled up with a book by a supposed dating expert, the only person who really knows what you need is you.However, there’s nothing more futile than getting back into dating or a relationship before you’re emotionally ready. My mom has this saying, “The only time you should be dating is when you know you don’t need to be dating.” She’s a wise lady because it’s true.The only time you should be dating is when you’re already comfortable being single and hanging out solo.It makes you excited about the idea of love for the first time in a long time.